Instructing
bY aNDREW GOLD
This is a six man/women script
Chris-Instructor
Rees-rude friend
Henry-Rude friend
Jerry-rude friend
Nick-rude friend
James-late friend
.
CHRIS
Hey guys I’d like to thank you for coming, I’m just waiting on James before I explain the game.
REES
Why can’t you explain it now?
CHRIS
Well I was going to wait until James gets here so I don’t have to explain the game twice, but we have the xbox over there that we can play if you guys are bored.
JERRY
I want to hear how to play this game though.
CHRIS
Lets just wait on until James gets here.
REES
So you’re not going to explain the game to us, is that it?
CHRIS
No, that’s not what I’m saying at all.
HENRY
Listen we can just leave if you want .
CHRIS
That’s not what I want, I just don’t want to explain the game twice.
NICK
Then just explain it once. why would you say it twice?
CHRIS
That’s what I’m saying! if I explain it now I’ll have to explain it again when James gets here.
REES
Chris, you’re not making any sense.
Chris
(starting to get angry) I’m not making any sense? do you guys hear yourselves? just play the xbox until James get here.
JERRY
We don’t want to play xbox we want to hear how to play this game.
(they all start to crowd Chris)
CHRIS
OK, just hold on, I’ll explain the game.
REES
I mean if you want to you can.
CHRIS
Oh...well in that case I won’t explain the game until James gets here.
REES
But you’re going to explain it now.
CHRIS
Oh, I don’t really know why you said “if I wanted to” in the first place.
REES
Just explain the game.
Chris
Alright, so have any of you guys ever played ultimate frisbee.
Henry
I threw a frisbee once does that count?
CHRIS
No, not really.
NICK
I’m pretty ultimate how about that, does that count?
CHRIS
no...
NICK
it should....
CHRIS
anyways,(no one notices but Nick put headphones in his ears) here’s how it goes, so were going to use a ball instead of a frisbee. So you get the ball then you can take three steps and throw it to one of your teammates (Henry starts to cough, continually interrupting Chris) so if you take more than three steps with the ball, it goes to the other team and if it touches the ground anyone can take it (Henry starts to get louder, Chris starts to get frustrated) Henry can you please stop?
HENRY
sorry got a little bit of a cold.
CHRIS
you haven’t been coughing this entire time, you just started coughing when I started explaining the game!
HENRY
just clearing my throat.
CHRIS
I thought you were sick? Whatever so there’s another part to the game (Henry coughs once and Chris glares at him Henry then stops) so if you take three steps but want to go farther then you can drop it and dribble it with your feet but the other team can take it and you score a point by throwing it in the other teams goal. So do you guys get it? its like ultimate frisbee and soccer put together.
REES
yeah I know how to play.
JERRY
I’m confused are we playing ultimate frisbee.
CHRIS
no, this is my game, it’s not ultimate frisbee.
JERRY
what’s your game’s name?
CHRIS
it doesn’t have one.
JERRY
it needs one though.
CHRIS
I mean it’s doesn’t really need a name.
JERRY
Actually it really does,I’m not playing if it doesn’t have a name.
CHRIS
Um, ultimate soccer?
HENRY
What’s soccer.
CHRIS
You know? Soccer? Where they kick the ball around and kick goals.
HENRY
You mean football?
CHRIS
Henry you’re not European at all, you were born and raised in America.
HENRY
listen, I go by the correct name.
CHRIS
whatever fine it’s ultimate football.
REES
That’s already a game, are you copying another game, that’s illegal.
NICK
I’m sorry I had my headphones in the whole time, how do you play the game?
CHRIS
you gotta be kidding me, Seriously?
NICK
(sarcastically) no I just lied to mess with you.Man! People these days.
(James enters)
JAMES
Hey guys, sorry I’m late
REES
Great, now we have to hear how to play the game again.
NICK
I know right?
CHRIS
you weren’t even listening Nick!
JAMES
wait, what’s going on?
REES
Chris just HAD to explain the game to us before you got here
CHRIS
wait, what?
JERRY
All we wanted to do was play xbox, but nooo he had to tell us right then
JAMES
Dude, you should have just waited for me so you only had to explain it. once
CHRIS
I did! they made me explain the game before you came.
JAMES
just tell them no.
REES
yeah Chris could have just said no to us we would have waited.
CHRIS
I did say no!
JERRY
stop lying Chris.
CHRIS
I’m done, get out of my house now!
HENRY
come on guys lets play ultimate soccer.
REES
I love that game lets go (they start exit)
CHRIS
Hey! that’s my game! hold on!
(They exit)
CHRIS
Hey guys I’d like to thank you for coming, I’m just waiting on James before I explain the game.
REES
Why can’t you explain it now?
CHRIS
Well I was going to wait until James gets here so I don’t have to explain the game twice, but we have the xbox over there that we can play if you guys are bored.
JERRY
I want to hear how to play this game though.
CHRIS
Lets just wait on until James gets here.
REES
So you’re not going to explain the game to us, is that it?
CHRIS
No, that’s not what I’m saying at all.
HENRY
Listen we can just leave if you want .
CHRIS
That’s not what I want, I just don’t want to explain the game twice.
NICK
Then just explain it once. why would you say it twice?
CHRIS
That’s what I’m saying! if I explain it now I’ll have to explain it again when James gets here.
REES
Chris, you’re not making any sense.
Chris
(starting to get angry) I’m not making any sense? do you guys hear yourselves? just play the xbox until James get here.
JERRY
We don’t want to play xbox we want to hear how to play this game.
(they all start to crowd Chris)
CHRIS
OK, just hold on, I’ll explain the game.
REES
I mean if you want to you can.
CHRIS
Oh...well in that case I won’t explain the game until James gets here.
REES
But you’re going to explain it now.
CHRIS
Oh, I don’t really know why you said “if I wanted to” in the first place.
REES
Just explain the game.
Chris
Alright, so have any of you guys ever played ultimate frisbee.
Henry
I threw a frisbee once does that count?
CHRIS
No, not really.
NICK
I’m pretty ultimate how about that, does that count?
CHRIS
no...
NICK
it should....
CHRIS
anyways,(no one notices but Nick put headphones in his ears) here’s how it goes, so were going to use a ball instead of a frisbee. So you get the ball then you can take three steps and throw it to one of your teammates (Henry starts to cough, continually interrupting Chris) so if you take more than three steps with the ball, it goes to the other team and if it touches the ground anyone can take it (Henry starts to get louder, Chris starts to get frustrated) Henry can you please stop?
HENRY
sorry got a little bit of a cold.
CHRIS
you haven’t been coughing this entire time, you just started coughing when I started explaining the game!
HENRY
just clearing my throat.
CHRIS
I thought you were sick? Whatever so there’s another part to the game (Henry coughs once and Chris glares at him Henry then stops) so if you take three steps but want to go farther then you can drop it and dribble it with your feet but the other team can take it and you score a point by throwing it in the other teams goal. So do you guys get it? its like ultimate frisbee and soccer put together.
REES
yeah I know how to play.
JERRY
I’m confused are we playing ultimate frisbee.
CHRIS
no, this is my game, it’s not ultimate frisbee.
JERRY
what’s your game’s name?
CHRIS
it doesn’t have one.
JERRY
it needs one though.
CHRIS
I mean it’s doesn’t really need a name.
JERRY
Actually it really does,I’m not playing if it doesn’t have a name.
CHRIS
Um, ultimate soccer?
HENRY
What’s soccer.
CHRIS
You know? Soccer? Where they kick the ball around and kick goals.
HENRY
You mean football?
CHRIS
Henry you’re not European at all, you were born and raised in America.
HENRY
listen, I go by the correct name.
CHRIS
whatever fine it’s ultimate football.
REES
That’s already a game, are you copying another game, that’s illegal.
NICK
I’m sorry I had my headphones in the whole time, how do you play the game?
CHRIS
you gotta be kidding me, Seriously?
NICK
(sarcastically) no I just lied to mess with you.Man! People these days.
(James enters)
JAMES
Hey guys, sorry I’m late
REES
Great, now we have to hear how to play the game again.
NICK
I know right?
CHRIS
you weren’t even listening Nick!
JAMES
wait, what’s going on?
REES
Chris just HAD to explain the game to us before you got here
CHRIS
wait, what?
JERRY
All we wanted to do was play xbox, but nooo he had to tell us right then
JAMES
Dude, you should have just waited for me so you only had to explain it. once
CHRIS
I did! they made me explain the game before you came.
JAMES
just tell them no.
REES
yeah Chris could have just said no to us we would have waited.
CHRIS
I did say no!
JERRY
stop lying Chris.
CHRIS
I’m done, get out of my house now!
HENRY
come on guys lets play ultimate soccer.
REES
I love that game lets go (they start exit)
CHRIS
Hey! that’s my game! hold on!
(They exit)